10 Japanese acts that would have been way way better choices than AKB48 for the Wreck-It Ralph soundtrack

I just saw that the super-creepy Japanese pop act AKB48 is on the soundtrack for the video game themed animated film Wreck-It Ralph*. While I suppose it should come as no surprise that such factory processed mega-sleaze could manage to shlerm its way onto the soundtrack (we are talking about Disney here after all), it does send this fanboy into something of a tailspin. Because for God's sake, there are exactly ONE ZILLION better Japanese acts to choose from for this sort of fun, nostalgic, vibrant love letter to video games. (I'm assuming most of that. Haven't seen it.)

So I took two seconds and wrote a list of the first ten acts I could think of. HERE IT IS, in order of relevance and everything, just in case you get bored of listening to incredibly awesome music halfway through like a moron who deserves total junk like AKB48 forced into your slack jaws and down your bloated food-chute.

*Looking up the correct punctuation is the beginning and ending of the research I did for this post.

#1 Sexy Synthesizer



If you get 15 seconds into this and don't know why it's number one then stop reading and smash your damn fool face into a brick wall until it's nap time. COME ON. Sexy Synthesizer is amazing and uses a handful of Namco arcade game sounds in just about every song he writes. Including Galaga which is the best game ever made. Disagree? See above advice.

You can hear his entire ROCK album below.



#2 Plugnet



THIS IS THE COOLEST CHIPTUNE ALBUM EVER CREATED. Why? LISTEN TO THE RAPPING OH MY GOD. Oh, and it should be obvious unless you're a dummy but Sexy Synthesizer had a hand in its creation. GOT MORE SPICES.

#3 Omodaka



OK, so we've been pretty spastic right out of the gate. Maybe what you'd expect. And then BOOOOM. Omodaka. That's right, funk-tastic chip driven funky funk courtesy of a Stevie Wonder bass line and some wickedly weird traditional folk singing layered over the top. If Disney really wanted to blow people's minds, THIS would be playing through Wreck-It (I'm too busy to bother with the Ralph and more) non-stop.

#4 YMCK



"Y! M! C! K! Let's go! Let's go! *clap clap* Y! M! C! K! Let's go! Let's go! *clap clap* Y! M! C! K! Let's go! Let's go! *clap clap* Y! M! C! K! Waaaaaaaa!"

I rest my case. (They also built their own chiptune software.)

#5 Perfume



I mean come on, it's called "Electro World" for crying out loud. And Perfume is HUUUGE. And waaay less creepy than those dead-eyed AKB slaves. Much more family-friendly and all that. And the bass line rules my soul.

#6 The Aprils



Alright, if the over-the-top commercialism is getting to you, then The Aprils are here to wash it away with a blissful wave of super duper cute synthpop. Absolutely non-ironic and just plain happy. All in a way only Japan can pull off. This should be the ending theme to every happy animated film, in my totally factual analysis.

#7 Halcali



Remember when people made good, clever videos? This is one of them! And it has blurred out Super Mario Bros in it! And it's an amazing song! COME ON GUYS JEEEZUS! AKB48? Really? When THIS IS A THING THAT EXISTS???

#8 Capsule



Screw Tron. THIS is what living in a video game from the 2000s would sound like.

#9 Floppy



Sorry if I fell off the chiptune tip for a second there. Back on track! Floppy brings a more rock/punk/weirdo vibe to their tunes. A nice foil to all the happy crappy girls, am I right? Look, we can all get along because chiptunes!

#10 Polysics



BECAUSE I WILL NOT REST UNTIL POLYSICS RULES THE ENTIRE WORLD. Because reasons, that's why.

So there you go. Take your stupid factory-pre-set J-pop and CHOKE.

June Calendar - Halcali - Japan Day NYC

June 1
Halcali
Japan Day, New York, NY
3:15 p.m. ACT FOUR – COOL JAPAN 2

Source: ANN

May Calendar - Halcali at Anime Central

May 16-18
Halcali
AnimeCentral - Rosemont, Il

Source: Japanator

Shojo Beat's Best Japanese Music Contest

I just wanted to drop this quick note. I posted a story over on Japanator about Shojo Beat's 3rd Annual Music Awards. There are a ton of great bands this time around (many of them from JapanFiles), like Polysics, Budo Grape, Tokyo Pinsalocks, Electric Eel Shock, Halcali, Puffy AmiYumi, L'Arc~en~Ciel, Bo-Peep and many more. Check out the story, then head on over and vote!

Review: Halcali Cyborg Oretachi (2007)

[NOTE: This review originally ran on Japanator on July 19th, 2007]

It's been three years since we last heard a new album from Japanese bubble-gum b-girls Halcali. While their two previous albums were full of playful beats and lo-fi electro blips along with their happy faced raps, they were also released on a small label. Since then the young and playful duo has been moved to Epic/Sony, and we all know what that means. Makeover! Can they survive the transformation from humble b-girls to major label idols? What about the dancing pandas? Won't somebody think of the dancing pandas? Let's take a look and a listen to their brand new album major label debut Cyborg Oretachi after the jump!


01 Doo The Hammer!! / 02 It's Party Time! / 03 Koi no BUBUBUN / 04 Twinkle Star 05 Endless Lover's Rain / 06 LOOK / 07 Cyborg Oretachi / 08 Driver's License 09 Fessu de Ouissu! / 10 Tougenkyo 11 Tip Taps Tip / 12 Harukari Michi~19 no Yoru

Halcali has been making a slow slide away from rap and into pop for a while now. In fact they've always blurred the lines between genres, so this is certainly nothing new. It's undeniable that with Cyborg Oretachi they've gone much further into the pop category. Sure, there are still the trademark trade-off raps and good-times beats, but these are always offset by a much more sing-song feel to every song.

"Doo the Hammer!!" sets the tone with some classy piano riffs and some classy breaks, leading into the dreamily sung chorus. Still, it retains the good ol' Halcali spirit. [Good Album Anticipation Levels: High.]

The next song and most recent single "It's Party Time" brings a much softer style to the mix. The title couldn't be further from the feeling. This is more of a driving home from a long day at the beach kind of song, not a going to the club kind of song. [Party Factor: N/A]

It's Party Time


"Koi no BUBUBUN" starts off with a very pretty glistening intro, then breaks into a very boring, slow beat. The analog synth bass is pretty awesome, but the general hazy feel and "bububun" chorus bring this down into worst song ever territory rather fast. [Skip Factor: 10.]

This, in turn, leads right into best song ever territory with the phenomenal "Twinkle Star." Even though the single was released over a year ago, I can still listen to it as if it were new today. The drum & bass beat is just rounded off enough to fit the pop mode, and the bass line is one of the most infectious ever. Add in the brilliant string samples from The Magnificent Seven with the break-neck vocal delivery and you have a recipe for pure sonic bliss. This is what Halcali is all about. [Repeat factor: High]

Twinkle Star


"Endless Lovers Rain" Ah, here we go. Ballad time. Heavy on the piano and tremolo strings. They've had some nice slow songs before, but this is straight up TV drama/film soundtrack balladtry. It's a nice song, but again, not their forte. [Irrelevance Factor: Moderate. Bonus Points: Sounds almost like a Katamari song during the rappy bits, but not quite.]

"Look" is a definite candidate for most J-pop song on the album. The rapping is almost a cast off in favor for the extended choruses. Overall it's a bit like their previous "Baby Blue" single only without any of the fun spirit behind it. Again, it's a good song, just too sleepy and dreamy. [Rosy Glow Factor: Off the scale.]

Look


And now, we have to take a break from reality, because the next song involves Polysics, and my brain leaves my body whenever Polysics is around. Even before I knew they (most likely just Hiro) had written this song I had a feeling that it must have something to do either with them or another new-wave electro band. It's a bit ironic that the title track is vastly different than anything on the album. It features a very tight, electro beat with fast, arpeggiated bass lines and the trademark Polysics blips and bleeps throughout. There is even a Hiro guitar solo (although it could just be cats fighting on the fret board...as usual) and a vocoded part! The vocal delivery is very robotic and stilted which suits the title ("We, The Cyborgs"). This is what Halcali is all about, yet this is what we get very little of on this album. [Zac Has To Clean His Shorts Factor: Yes.]

Much like the previous bad to good switch, we now go from good to bad with "Driver's License" (feat Rhymester). It's everything I dislike about hop-hop, namely slow, lazy beats and no actual music. Just a few tinkly rhodes chords and a lot of "Uh huh, yeah, come on" crap. [Skip Factor: Mandatory.]

"Fessu de Ouissu!" again brings us back into regular Halcali territory, but only when compared to previous songs. Its shuffle beat may get the conga lines going, but I think they only have those on the old-people cruise ships, so maybe this is more of a step sideways than forward. [Shuffleboard Factor: Not Today, My Arthritis Ya Know.]

"Tougenkyo" is firmly rooted in J-pop/rock territory ala Puffy-AmiYumi or Ai Otsuka. There is a very brief break for some rappage, but it's really just a fun, very cleanly produced rock song. It actually reminds me a lot of the main theme in Attention Please. You know, "Pretty Woman?" Yeah, again, what have you done with my Halcali? [Genre-bending confusion: Total.]

Tougenkyo


"Tip Taps Tip" is another well worn single, and another look at just how far the girls have been pushed into idol territory. We're talking Ayumi Hamasaki levels here. Again, it's a pretty song, but it's just so tame and like shopping at the Gap that I can't help but shed a tear as the rambunctious and devious young girls I used to know give way to maxed out credit card trophy wives. [Needing a Tissue/Lamentation For Things Lost Factor: Just Leave Me The Box.]

Tip Taps Tip


And finally "Harukari Michi~19 no Yoru." This is much like a mix of "Fessu de Ouissu!" and "Tougenkyo" with a dose of disco for good measure. Super duper pop idolatry here folks. Slick club beats along with funky disco guitars and strings. "Let's go down to the Sports Bar so I can get my drink on!" *groan* [Thank God It's Over Factor: Devastating.]

On the one hand, Cyborg Oretachi may help to expose Halcali to a much wider audience, but the question is, as always, is it an audience worth reaching? The songs certainly aren't bad, just bland and predictable (with a few exceptions.) Where they go from here is anybody's...oh who am I kidding? They are only going to get more bland and homogenized from here on out. Check out their older material while you can.

Halcali

Halcali is a rap duo, the product of a talent search initiated by the band Rip Slyme. B-girls Haruka and Yukari had never sung or rapped before, but they were a hit and looked the part, which was all that mattered. Since then they've released three albums and several singles, all featuring their upbeat rhymes and dance-oriented songs. They are always very playfully and easygoing, irreverent, but safely so. All of their videos are very well done and usually funny, sometimes featuring elaborate dance numbers worthy of Busby Berkeley productions. Much like Puffy (Ami-Yumi) and The Do-Nuts, they are obviously factory made, but are nevertheless fun to listen to, and that's the point.

BUT HALCALI RELEASES HERE!