10 Japanese acts that would have been way way better choices than AKB48 for the Wreck-It Ralph soundtrack

I just saw that the super-creepy Japanese pop act AKB48 is on the soundtrack for the video game themed animated film Wreck-It Ralph*. While I suppose it should come as no surprise that such factory processed mega-sleaze could manage to shlerm its way onto the soundtrack (we are talking about Disney here after all), it does send this fanboy into something of a tailspin. Because for God's sake, there are exactly ONE ZILLION better Japanese acts to choose from for this sort of fun, nostalgic, vibrant love letter to video games. (I'm assuming most of that. Haven't seen it.)

So I took two seconds and wrote a list of the first ten acts I could think of. HERE IT IS, in order of relevance and everything, just in case you get bored of listening to incredibly awesome music halfway through like a moron who deserves total junk like AKB48 forced into your slack jaws and down your bloated food-chute.

*Looking up the correct punctuation is the beginning and ending of the research I did for this post.

#1 Sexy Synthesizer



If you get 15 seconds into this and don't know why it's number one then stop reading and smash your damn fool face into a brick wall until it's nap time. COME ON. Sexy Synthesizer is amazing and uses a handful of Namco arcade game sounds in just about every song he writes. Including Galaga which is the best game ever made. Disagree? See above advice.

You can hear his entire ROCK album below.



#2 Plugnet



THIS IS THE COOLEST CHIPTUNE ALBUM EVER CREATED. Why? LISTEN TO THE RAPPING OH MY GOD. Oh, and it should be obvious unless you're a dummy but Sexy Synthesizer had a hand in its creation. GOT MORE SPICES.

#3 Omodaka



OK, so we've been pretty spastic right out of the gate. Maybe what you'd expect. And then BOOOOM. Omodaka. That's right, funk-tastic chip driven funky funk courtesy of a Stevie Wonder bass line and some wickedly weird traditional folk singing layered over the top. If Disney really wanted to blow people's minds, THIS would be playing through Wreck-It (I'm too busy to bother with the Ralph and more) non-stop.

#4 YMCK



"Y! M! C! K! Let's go! Let's go! *clap clap* Y! M! C! K! Let's go! Let's go! *clap clap* Y! M! C! K! Let's go! Let's go! *clap clap* Y! M! C! K! Waaaaaaaa!"

I rest my case. (They also built their own chiptune software.)

#5 Perfume



I mean come on, it's called "Electro World" for crying out loud. And Perfume is HUUUGE. And waaay less creepy than those dead-eyed AKB slaves. Much more family-friendly and all that. And the bass line rules my soul.

#6 The Aprils



Alright, if the over-the-top commercialism is getting to you, then The Aprils are here to wash it away with a blissful wave of super duper cute synthpop. Absolutely non-ironic and just plain happy. All in a way only Japan can pull off. This should be the ending theme to every happy animated film, in my totally factual analysis.

#7 Halcali



Remember when people made good, clever videos? This is one of them! And it has blurred out Super Mario Bros in it! And it's an amazing song! COME ON GUYS JEEEZUS! AKB48? Really? When THIS IS A THING THAT EXISTS???

#8 Capsule



Screw Tron. THIS is what living in a video game from the 2000s would sound like.

#9 Floppy



Sorry if I fell off the chiptune tip for a second there. Back on track! Floppy brings a more rock/punk/weirdo vibe to their tunes. A nice foil to all the happy crappy girls, am I right? Look, we can all get along because chiptunes!

#10 Polysics



BECAUSE I WILL NOT REST UNTIL POLYSICS RULES THE ENTIRE WORLD. Because reasons, that's why.

So there you go. Take your stupid factory-pre-set J-pop and CHOKE.

VIDEO: AKB48 "Anata Ga Ite Kureta Kara"

In this new, tear-jerking video from Akihabara's super-idol-group AKB48, we see how the girls struggle to keep their chins up and smile but ultimately break down after coming to the realization that the best they can ever hope to achieve after they hit 16 is maybe a long, drug-addled career in the porn industry. Faced with the massive debt owed by their families to their gangster "agents," the young girls have no other choice but to remain in the seamy world of massage parlors, host clubs and human trafficking. Sure, maybe some day they will be able to climb out of the gutter, but memories of their daily brutalization will haunt their every move, causing them to fall back, time and again, into a downward spiral of fear, shame and crippling sadness.

At least that's what *I* think about when I watch this. You might have a slightly different reaction.

Calendar 2010 - AKB48 - Anime Expo

July 1
AKB48

Anime Expo 2010
Los Angeles Convention Center - Nokia Theater

The members will also participate in attendee panels, meet-and-greets and autograph sessions.

Source: Anime Expo

September 09 Calendar - AKB48 - NYAF

September 26-27
AKB48
New York Anime Festival

Sep 26th - Q&A session, autographing, and short concert at the Jacob Javits Center
Sep 27 - Free concert at Webster Hall

Source: NYAF

AKB48

AKB48 is a group made up of, you guessed it, around 48 young girls age 13 to 22. The actual number seems to shift by a few from time to time as “old” members are “graduated” (the Japanese idol scene's way of kicking out the girls who are no longer young enough) and new members are indoctrinated. The “AKB” in their name is derived from their home base in Akihabara where they also have their own exclusive theater. Akihabara is a mecca for all aspects of Japan's otaku culture, including anime, manga, video games, technology and music. As much of the otaku culture is focused on the adoration and worship of all things moe (basically the feeling one gets from looking at cute, young, lovable girls) AKB48's location is certainly no accident.

Style wise, they are exactly like Morning Musume, another large group of very young girls singing sparkling pop songs and dancing around. The music production is extremely artificial, loaded with synthetic strings, orchestral stabs and the occasional guitar. Perhaps unsurprising, the music takes a back-seat to the vocals. While some of the songs focus on one or two solo singers, most are made up of thickly layered and effected choruses of the entire group. It's all extremely up-beat and positive, with the sing-along sections in full force as well as the earnestness and “innocence.” You know, moe. Yet their songs, along with their extremely young appearance, point toward their intentions being far from innocent.

While the music is nothing particularly innovative or ground-breaking, it's the marketing behind this truly massive group that is something worth mentioning. The hook with AKB48 is that producer Akimoto Yasushi makes it absolutely no secret that the group is a pre-packaged product aimed directly at older otaku men. Fans can even call up their own favorite member and chat with her after the shows. Naturally, fans will do anything to follow their own special idol, which most often means buying whatever CD, DVD or photobook they are a part of.

The true genius (if you can call it that) behind this format can be seen in their albums. The large group is divided into three smaller sub-groups, A, K and B, consisting of 16 or so members each. The three sub-groupings each release their own singles and albums. The things is, each sub-group sings many of the same songs as their compatriots, so fans are essentially buying the same albums three times. Even the one regular album they've released, SET LIST -Greatest Songs 2006-2007, is essentially a re-issue of all of their previous singles and b-sides.

As so many other things in Akihabara, AKB48 is first and foremost a disposable commodity, something to be sold on the basis of its glossy surface alone. They do have catchy songs, but it's really the girls who are for sale here, and that doesn't exactly make for a great listening experience.

BUY AKB48 RELEASES HERE

"Iiwake Maybe"




Official Site

Members:
Team A
Itano Tomomi / Kawasaki Nozomi / Kojima Haruna / Komatani Hitomi / Maeda Atsuko / Masuyama Kayano / Minegishi Minami / Nakanishi Rina / Narita Risa / Ohe Tomomi / Oshima Mai / Sato Yukari / Shinoda Mariko / Takahashi Minami / Tojima Hana / Hirajima Natsumi

Team K
Akimoto Sayaka / Hayano Kaoru / Kasai Tomomi / Kobayashi Kana / Masuda Yuka / Matsubara Natsumi / Miyazawa Sae / Noro Kayo / Ohori Megumi / Oku Manami / Ono Erena / Oshima Yuko / Satou Natsuki / Umeda Ayaka

Team B
Hirajima Natsumi / Inoue Naru / Kashiwagi Yuki / Kikuchi Ayaka / Katayama Haruka / Matsuoka Yuki / Nakagawa Haruka / Nakaya Sayaka / Noguchi Reina / Oota Aika / Saotome Miki / Tanabe Miku / Urano Kazumi / Watanabe Mayu / Watanabe Shiho / Yonezawa Rumi

Graduated Members
Usami Yuki / Uemura Ayako / Orii Ayumi / Hoshino Michiru / Imai Yu / Takada Ayana / Watanabe Shiho / Deguchi Aki / Masuyama Kayano

Releases:
SET LIST -Greatest Songs 2006-2007 (2007)

Sakura no Hanabiratachi


Yuhi wo Mite Iruka?


Skirt